invitan: (Hikaru - Become stronger)
[personal profile] invitan
...and extend our hands to babe apocalypse?

Another year has gone by, and for the last 12 months I only managed to post 12 journal entries? Gosh I wish I would not make that a tradition. In any case, I'll just get the resolution check out of the way first.

- Get a mobile broadband and finally say goodbye to 30kbps Internet. - Check.
- Integrate well into JC life. At least get along with my class =_= - Not as well as I hoped, but I figure it would work out somehow. Learnt a lot of thing along the way though "D
- Go to NLB more often \:D/ And get a damn NLB card \:D/ - I barely went at all this year, which is a pity. I missed the place, but sometimes you have to compromise.
- Save more $$$ - In this respect, I failed. Totally.
- Get involved in something besides NLB. - I did, and now I wished I had been less involved.
- Start... participating? Be more active? Try to stand out? =_= - Probably not the way I hoped I would, but well, at least there was some attempt? Learning how to pretend to be an extrovert - Work in Progress.
- SAT SAT SAT - Result of the first test was higher than expected, but I'll damn myself to hell if I'm not feeling the stress of the second one already.
- Resume ficcing if possible. - Failed.
- Continue YRAP. Be brave *_* - Apparently I wasn't brave enough, and I think I'll regret it someday. Probably already.

From the few lines above, you probably have understood why I label 2011 as the year of unexpected twists.

For one thing, I cannot recall a year that I've been this inactive fandom-wise since I've known its existence. I barely read fics at all, I checked LJ Friends Page really occasionally, etc. However, as significantly did my depth of involvement shrink, its breadth just grew almost infinitely. I was truly on a manga-anime marathon, especially during my very little free time. I tried out a lot of genres that I've never watched/read much before or looked down on, mostly out of curiosity and partly out of boredom. I read romances. A lot. Sometimes more than that. You could say my taste is changing, but I'll prefer the term "evolving".

And yes, it has A LOT to do with RL. Which I'll mention about later.

Talking about RL. Or maybe we shouldn't go there. Let's just say it's always been a bitch, but recently it's been a bit rougher on me than it used to. Stress and de-stress and dramas and all that juicy tidbits of life that makes it interesting. I've been emotional and I've been learning to control my emotion roller coaster. I've made friends and severed ties. I've made decisions that I regretted and regretted not making a decision. I have a future to worry about and a present to worry about and a past to forget about.

I turned 18. Should have been a life-changing event, but it wasn't. I consumed alcohol almost for the first time and I sort of wanted to get drunk, except that I felt totally disgusted with the taste, and couldn't bring myself to explore the long upheld mystery of intoxication. And I've been watching 18+ underage for years, so nope, not feeling any difference here. If there is anything new, it is the fact that I've been so constantly reminded of my future and responsibility and university application that I swear I would get sick someday because of it.

Allow me to edit a previous statement. I have a future to forget about.

Okay, whining aside, I have to say that my life has changed considerably since I stepped into this junction - the "JC phase" of life. Or in other word: highschool. People say it brings out the best and the worst of people, and most people will lead a very different life from their highschool years. I don't know how it will turn out, but it certainly has been very memorable in deed. I joined the most stressful co-curricular activity ever, and it felt like pitching myself against the real world. What I've been experiencing probably encapsulates what I'm about to go through 10-20 years in the future. It's tiring yet exciting, and yet full of unexpected twists. It contributes a lot to more-than-occasional instants of murderous intents, and yet the sense of satisfaction afterwards is more than fulfilling. It's something I hate to my core of being, and at the same time something I cherish. It's just that bipolar and that extreme.

I will miss it when it's over, at the least.

Coming back to the evolution of my taste, I have to say it's mostly attributed to my emotional maturity. I've been going through what most people go through at some point in their life, and let's just say what I've been watching and reading is what I've felt most related to for the time being.

(For some reasons I'm always stuck when I try to get this out of my chest. Perhaps some other times.)

Anyway, enough ranting. It's been a while since my last post, and I really miss writing (pretty) long entries. As 2011 draws to a close, it's time for a new set of resolutions. I'm losing faith in myself though, seeing how last year's works out.

- SAT>2250. Would be damn hard to achieve, unless I start NOW.
- University app goes well and all.
- A level goes well and all.
- End my SMC commitment on a high note.
- Finish something I've started.
- NOT lose contact with people (or at least a person) I treasure.
- Finish that Himitsu review that I've been working on darnit.
- Survive the apocalypse? (hope I'll still be alive to check this post next year XD)
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