8/1/10 13:20
invitan: (Default)
Your result for The Fan Fiction Personality Test...

The Weirdo

Crackfic, Mpreg, and all the other oddities.
You are pretty weird. It's hard to put you in a box. On one hand, you might lean towards the bizarre subgenres; recklessly slash people with inanimate objects, create alternative universes where Harry Potter is a 7 years old girl named Annie and don't take fanfiction very serious. On the other hand, you might be a misunderstood genius that could write Tolkien, Roddenberry and Rice into the ground, and your ideas are simply totally ahead of their time.

However, the chances you're the latter are rather small.
Take The Fan Fiction Personality Test at OkCupid


I... er... I... er... am I... WHAT 0__o
(I wanna cry like a baby now = =)
invitan: (Fuji)
I've returned to Oldham Hall yesterday, and now dead tired of unpacking stuffs, which include 3 50x50x50cm3 boxes and two suitcases. Even carrying them all the way to my room has been exhausting, and a super waste of time when school starts tomorrow.

On a side note, I've been promised some late birthday gifts - some have arrived, some were lost, but the efforts make me touched anyway (even though none of them are things that I greatly desire).

The IMBFC marathon turns out quite amusingly, with me and K_chan tried almost desperately to get it done before the deadline, which actually takes away some of the surprise, but the way we rush thing is kinda funny to watch.
New Year resolve )


23/12/09 10:04
invitan: (Kanda - lonely)
Dear flist, do you find me changed at all over the last year?

This winter I reunited with my friends from a lot of places, from my secondary classmates to my high school class mates, to even dearest HnG's fam. Who, surprisingly, all have one thing in common.

All of them remarked that I haven't changed at all. 

So am I really that static? And is it a good or bad thing that I don't change? That I remain the same?

And all the while I thought I have changed a lot.

I don't know. I just feel somewhat... disappointed. I really don't know.

invitan: (Akira)
Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Sunday I ruled Asscrackistan as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In July I gave [livejournal.com profile] andyprue a kidney (1000 points). Last week on a flight to Pakistan, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In March I bought porn for [livejournal.com profile] hashuka_shinya (-10 points). In April I pushed [livejournal.com profile] onepiecefc in the mud (-17 points). Overall, I've been nice (1633 points). For Christmas I deserve a Sony Playstation 3!
Sincerely, invitan
Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
invitan: (Fuji)

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[ Chết tiệt. Về VN suốt ngày ngồi ngắm tiếng Việt giờ sợ 1 tháng nữa quay lại tiếng Anh mình trở lại con số không =v= ]

Vietnamese rambling warning == )
invitan: (Akira)
September is undoubtedly the month of celebrations!

The fact that so many people were born this month really says something. 1st and 3rd are both birthdays of my acquaintances, and national day is in between. How busy! This Saturday is the birthday of another. And the whole next week is September holiday *eyes rolling*

Yesterday was actually more fun than expected. Nothing was particularly regrettable, and well, the food was good. And, er...

Well then?
invitan: (Kanda)
Ok, so maybe 'hatred' is a bit over-exaggerating, but still, I dislike board games. Or chess in particular.

Perhaps it's an enjoyable pastime, that is, for a pastime, a hobby, an interest. Perhaps its appeal lies hidden behind the process of thoughts, of analysis, the stupendous effort that is put into it, the genuine feeling of a bloodshed and ruthless battle.

Perhaps it is interesting, but then, it's nothing that way in a competition, and when you suck at it.

It's not my fault that I suck at board games. It's really not my fault. I was born with excellent social analytical skills, not logical analytical skills. And it's not like I hadn't tried my best. I really did. I've never thrown a game before, and never will I. It's just that I practically have no talent and spare no passion for this game.

So I really cannot be blamed if I lose every single game in the competition, can I? 

(well, not really, since I actually skip 3 games and play with nobody in 1 game, so I've got a win-by-default)

Anyway, I'm not frustrated because of losing. I know more than well that all these efforts are not spared for winning. Why the hell should I try to win in a game not to my liking? So don't misunderstand. I don't hate chess because of the game itself. Or because of my futile attempts. I hate it because of the players.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I stink, and I deserve no praise or cheers from anyone. I expect nothing anyway. But why can't people spare the losers some pride? I actually pride myself on never throwing a game ever, and I believe it's a good enough something to be proud of. Even if I don't care about winning or losing, I actually have some consideration towards my opponents, who are as eager to crush me as I'm eager to smash the chess board into pieces. I can always simply play suicidal and finish the game in 1 minutes, but I have enough conscience to understand that I have my self-esteem to preserve. Even if you lose, lose with your head high. I have no shame of myself - not at all.

So then why do they have to crush my tiny bit of self-respect? Why do they have to interrupt in the middle of the game to kindly tell me that I am leaving my Queen vulnerable to the predator? Who needs your condescending pity? Yeah, right, I know I'm playing as a stupid brainless idiot, and you can just tell me, or yell at me, or shout at me that. Or if your mind feels too bothered, then just massacre my pieces quickly and finish the game and we can have a post-discussion where you can show me how dull and stupid I am as much as you want to. I'm okay with it. You don't need to wear your high and mighty mask on and throw me one bit of your hypocrisy. I don't need and don't want to owe you anything and anything! At all!

I hate chess competition. I really do :-<

invitan: (Hikaru - Become stronger)

I have been reflecting on myself for the last few days. On how I should have supposed to be. This streak of horrid luck (or not) did force me to think. Have I been trying enough?

After all, I am not living to play. Or to eat. Or whatever. I don't live to study, either - I'm absolutely not a nerd. I don't live to go shopping, or spending on supposedly unnecessary things such as junk food (or marshmallow in particular = =) - certainly not spending $50/week. Nope, I'm not living to enjoy myself only.

I know what I am living for, even though it has yet to be distinct.

I need to work harder to redeem myself. I need to motivate myself to a higher level. A much higher level.

I'll be moving forward. Certainly.

Just watch me.

invitan: (Kanda)
Which is:

If there's no butterfly in your stomach when you talk to you crush then is it a good sign or bad sign :(
invitan: (Default)
Về tới Việt Nam rồi riết cũng quen tiếng Việt, giờ lại muốn viết bằng tiếng Việt (chả biết có phải một điều đáng mừng không). Hôm qua sốt, đầu nhức như búa bổ, rốt cuộc không rõ hứng lên thế nào đi đọc lại 10 bài viết tặng HnG tháng 9 năm ngoái. Thấy mình nhớ HnG khủng khiếp, và nhớ thời kỳ cách đây độ 2 năm gì đó, lúc tinh thần HnG lên cao nhất ấy. Rồi sau đấy lại nhớ lan man tới việc viết.

Ừ, vốn là một đứa thích viết, nhưng ghét cảm nhận. Chính xác là ghét viết cảm nhận, nên ghét văn cũng là vì thế. Không biết có phải bởi vì tâm hồn quá khô khan không. Có lẽ cũng chả phải. Mình chả bao giờ tự nghĩ rằng mình là một đứa khô khan cả, có chăng thì không có cái chất lãng mạn cần có khi cảm thụ thôi. Cảm nhận và phân tích khác nhau, bao giờ cũng làm tốt phần phân tích, nghĩa là lý trí của mình tốt, nhưng phần tình cảm luôn kém. Có thể phân tích được cái hay của một thứ gì đó, nhưng khó mà cảm được rằng nó hay. May ra chỉ là tự nhủ mà thôi.

Nói cách khác, chả phải tâm hồn khô héo hay cái khỉ khỉ gì đó. Chỉ là khó khăn trong việc tạo cảm xúc, và càng khó khăn hơn trong việc diễn đạt cảm xúc. Vốn chưa bao giờ giỏi sử dụng ngôn từ bay bổng hay các thể loại hình ảnh ẩn dụ. Không giống Rei, không giống LA, không giống những đứa chuyên Văn. Có lẽ giỏi xây dựng tình tiết hơn, nghĩa là cái mặt lý trí nó vẫn tốt hơn. Nhớ hồi đầu mới viết bị chê là văn khô quắt khô queo, sau là nhờ đọc nhiều, bắt chước nhiều, văn nó mới đỡ khô. Nhưng bắt chước nhiều quá nó cũng hại, trước hết là cảm giác về nhịp văn bị mất, sau là tới cốt truyện cũng dở đi. Cái mâu thuẫn nó đẩy lên lớn đến mức chỉ có thêm một yếu tố lười chảy thây vào là nó biến thành writer's block luôn.

Chả hiểu sao tự dưng lại nghĩ ngợi lung tung. Tay thì cứ buồn buồn muốn viết mà viết ra lại toàn thứ không đáng đọc, rốt cuộc chả dám mang cho ai đọc. Lại buồn thêm.
invitan: (Hikaru - Become stronger)
He's back yesterday. Really don't know what to feel. I mean, it's weird. 7 years without a sibling and suddenly I got a brother. I mean, well, 7 years certainly can change a person. He's almost a stranger to me now. Now I see that I'm completely unfamiliar with this person. I barely know about him, his life, don't even know whether he has gone through upper uni or not. Of course I know he cares about me (he brings me book, gives me IT advice, shares some experience), but I want to know him and care about him more than I do now. And then I gotta go in 1 week. If only I could stick around a while longer, only I could get to know my own brother.

When he's home today, I asked him, how was it (I mean, he went somewhere today, then certainly there was something, right?). He spared no reply. My parents never ever told me anything about him over the past few years. They avoided it. As if something had happened and I was not supposed to know about it. About my own brother.

I guess he's still tired after the long flight and may even be suffering from the difference in time zone (a good 12 hours difference is surely something). Hope I can get closer to him in the next 7 days. *sigh*

Still haven't gone anywhere. Only one week left.
invitan: (Default)
Staring at the Sun by [livejournal.com profile] somekindofen 
One of the most beautiful and breath-taking one-shot I've ever read. The writing style is superb and intriguing, with effective use of second person. And the pain is portrayed so genuinely that I feel like I can touch Hikaru's internal soul.
Warning: deathfic, slight SA
Character: Hikaru/Akira, Akari, Mitani


I finally get hold of a new laptop. Not brand new, of course, but at least it's not frequently used. Kinda cheap (well, it's a Dell, after all), and the screen has already got flaws. RAM 1Gb, hard disc 90 Gb, Win XP, not quite up to my expectation, but at least it's faster *sigh at this good old Vaio RAM 512MB*. I'm just afraid it would go broken soon :-S (it's a DELL!)

invitan: (Default)
Back home at last. HN has been covered with a somehow layer of smog lately, resulting in the hot air preventing smoke from the paddy fields to escape or something like that. Which makes it extremely dusty. And hard to breathe. Well, I'm trying to avoid going out at least.

Ok, so this might sound weird and a lil' bit, what, ungrateful? retarded? but I don't feel so good about being home as I expected. Everything is just, well, normal. Even a bit empty without all my friends nearby. Or without going to the Library for CIP ('ve been missing the children and that certain s/o ever since ="=)

Hey, I'm honestly disappointed at myself. I should have missed home like crazy >______<

Feeling really really down. And now I'm looking forward to returning to S'pore ;x; Feel like a betrayer =x=

I'm such a jerk >__<
invitan: (Default)
I will not talk about the crazy schedule of mine last week, and I will not mention the stupid schedule of this week either. I will not list the streak of worst luck I got lately which makes me think that God hates me, and I will not even complain about it. I will not even babble about how super boring CIP is getting and I will not curse my stupid tons of homework.

Simply, I just want to say, I still love this life XD"

There are things that make me down, but there are also things that cheer me up. And even though it seems that I'm into misfortune more than conversely, it does not matter at all XD.

Because I'm going home in 4 days XDDD"

And I'm having sth that is similar to a crush but definitely absolutely not a crush on this guy, who is friendly, talkative, good with kid, observant, knowledgeable and literally mature, and who loves the library and loves M-A and knows Japanese and used to do scanlation from Jpn to Eng and has recommended me some series and whom I'll meet again tmr XD That is to say, it's simply some kind of friendly affection, I mean, friend-to-friend. (Although he has this habit of talking too fast while my ears apparently never cooperates = =) So don't misunderstand, I'm purely happy since I get to know s/o not under forceful circumstances.

And the latest thing is that I have just finished my E-HW. Which drags me into some kind of high-spirited state.

I don't know why, but somehow I feel that I'm getting thinner. Or my eyes really have problems. But that might be true, after all I haven't got dinner for 2 days already. Not deliberately - it is the consequence of losing my access card and stupid schedule, but I will not talk about it. Anw, it's just dinner, not as important. Skipping one or two in a while does not really affect me that much anw XD" (on the other hand, it actually gets me slimmer, which is supposed to be a good thing, bcoz I'm really overweight :-? )
invitan: (Default)
Just take this quiz today. Kinda alarming result 8-|


-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --

Comment: I have always known I am mentally sick, but really did not expect that I'm that sick 0 0
invitan: (Hikaru - Become stronger)
It was yesterday, but I feel like my foot still want to move and my heart is still pounding hard and my mind is still filled with excitement.

All performances were super great! Totally! I love everything >:D<

Grey house, you rock! Your Snow White SA-related was awesome enough for a fangirl like me cry and yelp like crazy XDDDD
Green house, although I don't think you really deserve being the first, but I also love your performances XDDD Your 3 guys in skirt (or kilt :-? ) were fabulous XD
Red house, wooo. A Midsummer Night's Dream really came alive in your acting >:D< Your SA story was extremely fascinating =)) I totally fell for it XDDD And the part "the above is indirectly proportional to the below" and "if the above is this skinny, then the below must be really really........." =))
Purple House was so damn creative. Now I know how I LOVE those dustbins =)) You deserved your second place, really XD
Navy Blue, wow. The protagonist made me squee :"> The part when he went all excited and high-spirited was hilarious XDDD
Yellow House, your Pooh love story is utterly hilarious and cute. Oh, I love the part when the sound of  "Who is to be the millionaire" echoed.
Light Blue was so cuteeeeeee >:D< The Phantom of Opera was damn cool, and the sexy mama part of Phượng never cease to humor me.

Last but not least, I LOVE BEIGE HOUSE AND OUR DANCE!!! Although we didn't win (mostly due to technical problem and somehow lack of relevance to the theme 'joy', and I doubt that the middle-age judges would really like the wild youth), but I know we won in everyone's heart :> You all have to admit that we received the most screaming and shouting and woo. Kim Chi even told me that if she had been the judge, she would definitely have given us the outstanding prize XD To tell the truth, I did burst out crying while trying as best as I could to laugh and cheer for Green House that won first prize. It was really a mixture of joy and sorry, since we were the most hard-working House among all. After the shaking, however, it didn't matter anymore though. I was no longer thinking that our effort was a waste, when everybody followed us and imitated us dancing again. It really showed that we had successfully impressed everyone >:D<

Oh yeah, the last part was totally memorable. There was a feeling that we could not stop as long as the music was still on. It was the first time that I was able to totally express myself while ignoring other people looking at me. And not just me but everybody else. Even Chi and PLinh came down to shake XD Phở and Thắm and HPhương were shaking like crazy. I felt a bit sad when MLinh did not come down though. If only she joined the fun... I mean, she would definitely shake freaking hard.

Anyway, I love Shalini, really. She was like the goddess when she danced, OMG. And she was both cute at times and extremely sexy when she started moving. It was also the first time when someone praised my hair as 'sexy', and I totally appreciated that. (btw, I also love you, TLinh, for helping me straighten my hair, otherwise I would probably look like a schizophrenia patient >__< ) It was a pity that I did not manage to take a picture with her though :( 

When have I started having these feelings :-SS First is my deskie, then Ivana and now Shalini :-SS Have I really turned into a resemblance of my child, both physically and mentally :( :( :( ?

Okay, enough love for now, as I start to babble gibberish again. Here is our performance, and I'm trying to seek for others' as well :D
invitan: (Default)
Just to announce, I've just added on 2 fics on this recs list, both of which are under the one-shot gen section:

An incomplete and cursory list of hobbies that Hikaru has attempted by [livejournal.com profile] zoesque 
Kuwabara is dead (Long live the Honinbo)
by [livejournal.com profile] flonnebonne 

Where's my rambling ??????

I start to wonder if LJ is really a good choice :-?  Or just because I am so damn ignorant at these things.

invitan: (Kanda)
Really, the first time I've ever made a banner. As I mean, real banner. Kinda crappy though, as my PS is already crappy, plus my status as just recovering from the terrible migrain yesterday and then I have stayed up until 2 in the morning...

(Am I rambling without making any sense again :-? )

Anyway, I'm really feeling good right now, although tomorrow would be the stupid *beggar* test :-? *unseen test, if you get it* and despite a whole bunch of unfinished job = =

Bridging is getting kinda better, although I was pissed off by her know-it-all attitude last Friday. Hope there would be no more issue since she was trying harder.

My metaphor essay was collated with two other and was distributed to the whole Sec 3 half-lit = =. To be frank, I was embarrassed down to earth (with some pride though). It's just awkward... a student with full mark for the home assignment failed twice in the actual test = =.

Well, never mind.
invitan: (Default)

Tag from Ask :P


1. Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows media player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.


4. Tag at least 6 friends.

5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.

6. Have fun!

Crazy babble 8-> )

Tag :

1. andy
2. K_chan
3. tako
4. lyn
5. Hika
6. Fuu 8->

invitan: (Hikaru - Become stronger)
How I hate to name the post *sigh*

Anyway, I don't know if I should feel good. Or not. The last 3-day holidays of CA2, and I don't even have a chance to enjoy myself at all.

Tests and exams and tests 8-} It feels like almost as stressful as this time last year, though as my seniors have assured, just enjoy yourself and your sec 3, no need to push it too hard this year. But, just have a look, how am I supposed to relax, when Geog test and SS test and Physics test and especially Lit and Eng test are coming up one by one? Damn it. It's totally a mess.

I just want a little break from this crazy school life. That's all I ask for, damn it.

But my mood gets a little better when my lit holiday exercise is returned. *beaming* got full mark for the first time (counting the numerous times I have gotten so close and yet missed = =). Still it would mean nothing if I screw up in my test in the next 2 weeks, the possibility of which is - I swear - above 70%. I really need a break. I always do better without stress, I mean.


One more thing, I just read the most lovely Singaporean I ever known's blog a few days ago, and she called me the awesomest deskmate ever XDD (though just for one post, and she just meant so say thanks when she was sick and I called her to inform the schoolwork). I just realize that I start to think about her more than normal, as if I love her or something :)) But well, I guess, I always have some kind of obsession towards my current closest friend, which often scares myself. But never mind, as long as I haven't dreamt about her, I'm still curable XD

I still have to admit, she's so cute XD


The Big Mouth cried. I mean he really really cried in front of girls, as so he said. Which I found kinda unbelievable, since... well... HE CRIED??? Not that I haven't seen him all emo and stuffs, but it's just not like him at all. Have always thought of him as a really loud-mouth shorty (sorry for making fun of your height, but I just cannot help it :D ), and somehow thoughtless and spontaneous (I mean, in a good way :P ). The only time I saw him practically look distressed is when he failed the scholarship. Well, I mean, it's just a normal thing right, anyone would have felt ultimately disappointed at himself in such situation. (at least I would have, or more precisely I actually did). To put it right, I never thought that someday he might cry (as he told me) because he doesn't have any close friend and 'cause he misses his secondary friends. Not that I blame him or anything, I might have cried too (if not want to say I actually did, 4 years ago = =). I'm purely astonished - never thought of him as some introvert, because he's totally NOT one. And I barely know what to tell him then, if I really should console him in some way.

Well, life's hard. And life in A1-Ams should be even harder. You'll have to struggle to survive there, and if you cannot, that just means you are not qualified. I bless you would overcome your crisis - no, I strongly believe. You're tough, right , the Biggest Mouth of A1 08-11 :D

I probably would come to see him when I return XD


My dearest bro is coming back in June. Finally, 7 years of waiting XD XD

Now I really wish this flu would be over with all my heart.


I don't know if I'm being myself right now, or imitating someone else? It's just strange. Am I growing up, or becoming more childish? Simply to put, I stop being angsty (or so I hope). Only frustrated at times, but no, no angst. While I have always been such a walking shadow back in VN.

It's a crazy thought, I know, but despite how much I miss VN, I cannot help thinking that I just could not express myself in a whole back then.


I love Hikaru no Go for what it is. I totally do.
Someone does not. Or as so I feel.
Hikaru no Go is not angsty. It'll never will be. That's why I can accept if people try to explore that angsty side of it. But not excessive, just enough of an amount.

Hikaru no Go is a story of developing. It's not about mourning for the past - well, it does emphasize on the importance of the past, but it heads for the future. So I totally love the new covers of the republished version - it's a development isn't it, and it worths respect from other fans.

Or maybe I'm just to apply my domineering thoughts on others. Maybe. I don't really know.


After all, life doesn't really suck.

Or not yet.



invitan: (Default)

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