invitan: (Kanda - lonely)
[personal profile] invitan
In the end, it's a great party with the presence of everyone, except that it's nowhere as sincere as one year ago. Perhaps we'd rather not celebrate at all than do it half-heartedly in the pretense that we are happy for them. Somehow along the way, we have lost something dear to us, something that bound us together as a whole. The difference between us used to made us exciting, fascinating to one another. Is it because the difference is no longer there? Is it because we are exhausted and burnt out, and carried away with our own individual life that we have ceased to care about one another? Is it because of the complexity emerged from our current life that makes us stingy and egoistic?

We still hang out. We still chat about everything and nothing. We still, occasionally, or maybe even more frequently, have small heart-to-heart talks. Yet there's still something missing, something that disallows us to look straight into one another's eyes and smile like we used to. Maybe we all know that we are just putting on a cheerful facade, trying hard not to dampen the mood, but the more we hide behind our masks, the more deceitful the gather becomes. Because we are no masters of disguise, we cannot cover the truth, and it shows. It shows throughout the party, and it shows even after that. It shows our pathetic, pitiful selves in a hopeless, clumsy attempt to lie to everyone and to ourselves. The really sad thing is that, it cannot be more obvious.

What did we think when we wished them good luck with pretty fabricated words?