invitan: (Kanda - lonely)
She died at 4 p.m., June 9, 2014, in her favorite bamboo basket. Her blue eyes remained wide open. I touched her face, slipping my hand down to her stomach. 

Her tail ceased to move. Throughout the endeavor of surgery, or recovery and failed recovery, her tail sometimes was the only sign of life left. And when life left her, so was her tail.

She had lived with us for 10 years without illness. In the end, ovarian cancer took her away from us. 

In the last few days, her walk was slow and sluggish. I thought of calling a pet when she was vomiting, but I stopped. Maybe I should have. Maybe it wouldn't have solved anything. 

What if, after all, is not the best mode of thinking right now. No bargaining. No bargaining. If I can jump straight to acceptance.

Gosh. It's not about you.

I am sorry. I am sorry. Depression.

Acceptance.

Goodbye.

Mi, the greatest cat in the world.

*Kitten: a term to call all cats in the United States, regardless of their age.

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November 2018

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